Definition of kiss

Prof .of Economics
Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.




Prof. of Accountancy
Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.




Prof. of Algebra
Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.




Prof. of Geometry

Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.





Prof. of Physics

Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.


Prof. of Chemistry
Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.




Prof. of Zoology
Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.




Prof. of Physiology

Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.



Prof. of Dentistry

Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.



Prof. of Philosophy

Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.



Prof. of English

Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.





Prof. of Architecture

Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects



Prof. of Comp.Science What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

Ganguly Jokes

Q) Which was the hottest place in Bangalore's Chinnaswami Stadium
for the past few days?
A) The seat Ganguly was sitting on while in the Pavilion.

Q) What is common to a 100 meter race and Ganguly's innings?
A): They both last the same time.

Q) How can you say "Get Out" to Ganguly politely?
A): Ask him to go to bat.

Q) If Rahul is "The Wall", what is Ganguly?
A): The hole in the wall.

Q) How can Ganguly save time every day?
A): By not bothering to pad up.

Q) Who is the only cricketer who does not bat, bowl or field and yet plays international cricket?
A): No comments.......

Q) Why has Saurav Ganguly been recommended as the fielding coach for India after retirement?
A): No one else can provide catches as easily as Ganguly.

Q): What is Ganguly's favorite movie?
A): Gone in 60 seconds.

Q) What is the Height of Optimism?
A): Ganguly applying sunscreen cream on his face when he goes out to bat.



Shoiab Akhtar admits Ganguly is faster and quicker than him. "I
haven't seen any one get out so fast. Man, I envy his speed. I am
quick but he is quickest," he says. "I think I should now cut my run up short when I bowl to him. Or else, he might be gone when I am half way through my run up."


Narain Karthikeyan to get some tips on Speed from Ganguly. His
sponsors have asked him to talk to the Prince of Kolkata. They are
also planning to endorse Ganguly.

Dinesh Karthick confesses that his skills in getting ready and
padded have improved a lot. As soon as Ganguly goes to bat, I know
there is very little time in getting ready. "I must have broken
world records a few times in this series," says the Indian
dimunitive wicketkeeper.

Railways keen on Ganguly: At least we'll have someone who comes
(back) before time. This will help them improve the image with the
Indian public.

Ganguly to donate all his bats to charity. "I don't require a bat
nowadays", said the Indian southpaw.



Dada Ganguly had been drinking too heavily before going to bat on
black Monday. He staggered up to John Wright and confessed that he
could see three of everything.
"Well," said John Wright, "when you get out there and the three
balls come towards you, just hit the middle one."
Later Ganguly weaved his way to the crease and you all know what
happened after that. He was just clean bowled soon.
When he made his way back, "What happened?" demanded John
Wright. "Didn't you try to hit the middle ball?"
"Izzzezzzzezzz Yeshhhh," replied Dada, "but I used the outside bat!"

KEYS TO BUSINESS SUCCESS

KEYS TO BUSINESS SUCCESS
------------------------


1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. Peoplewith documents in their hands look like hardworking employeesheading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands looklike they're heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper intheir hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, makesure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generatingthe false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it lookslike work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personale-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doinganything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societalbenefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected butthey're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss--and you willget caught--your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself touse the new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. You're nota loafer, you're a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what youlearned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightenedsalamander.

3. Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For therest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build hugepiles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year'swork looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile themhigh and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury thedocument you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage forit when he/she arrives.

4. Voice mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. Peopledon't call you just because they want to give you something fornothing--they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's toway to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebodyleaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work,respond during lunch hour. That way, you're hardworking andconscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If youdiligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and thenreturning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase theodds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involveyou.

The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my lastmessage. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit onthe number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limitfrequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incomingmessages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Yourcallers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, thismailbox is full"--a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee inhigh demand.

Sanialogy

SANIALOGY

Look for the meaning of Sania Mirza in the urban dictionary and here’s what you’ll find...

Ach mein Gott!
‘Oh my God!’in German Usage: Prahlad Kakkar (ad man) — ‘‘In India, you’re either a goddess or shit. Sania’s a goddess.’’ Ach mein Gott!

awesomeness:
Better than awesome Usage: Alyque Padamsee (ad man) — ‘‘Sania’s the most sassy sportsperson on the Indian scene today.’’ That’s awesomeness

Bam:
A person that must be worshipped Usage:Angad Bedi (TV show host) — ‘‘Sania makes me a proud Indian.’’Bam...that’s her.

cawinky-dink:
Great coincidence Usage:Alyque:‘‘Good looks,good skills,great attitude.’’ Whadda cawinky-dink!
duff:
hot Usage: Anirban Das (brand builder) — ‘‘Sania’s the third most clicked female player after Sharapova and Serena.’’Comes with being truly doff.

emo:
Short for emotion Usage: Anirban — ‘‘She’s not someone you remember when you switch on the TV and forget when you switch it off.’’ That’s just a demo of her emo.

F4:
destined to lead the world Usage: Alyque — ‘‘She’ll have a far bigger following than Sharapova can ever dream of.’’ Press F4.

for real real:
‘For real’ emphasised Usage: Armaana Sodhi (model) — ‘‘She gives out positive vibes that make you want to go, get it. You connect.’’ She’s for real real.

go-to:
Someone you depend on Usage: Sofiya Azad (student) — ‘‘She’s no bimbo. That’s why she performs so consistently.’’ Way to go, go-to girl!

gsr:
Good significant response Usage: Anirban — ‘‘Sania’s marketability is unprecedented bar Sachin.’’ That’s a gsr.

irregardless:
Since the prefix ‘ir’ and the suffx ‘less’ both mean ‘not or with’, they cancel each other out, so you get ‘regard’ Usage: Freddie Birdie (ad man) — ‘‘Sania’s an interesting phenomenon. We’re starved of icons, she’s one.’’ irregardless.

Kid A:
To completely reinvent style Usage: Alyque — ‘‘Sachin has a nice-guy image,Amitabh has dignity,Shah Rukh has charisma.None of them has the pizzazz or vibrancy that Sania has.’’ She’s Kid A.

M.A.G.I.C.:
Most Attractive Girl In Class Usage: Alyque — ‘‘She’ll become a bigger brand than the Williams sisters. Sania’s better looking anyday!’’ That’s M.A.G.I.C.!

P.Y.B.O.:
Put Your Balls On! Just do it! Usage:Piyush Pandey (ad man) — ‘‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Sania’s brave enough to experiment.’’ P.Y.B.O. Like her.

shinda shima:
Cool person Usage:Sofia — ‘‘People are famous for various reasons. Sania is famous for never giving up.’’ So shinda shima!

silks:
Item of great worth Usage: Bipasha Basu (actress) — ‘‘She’s heading a country in her way. She has the ability to reach out.’’ Silksy!

smft:
So much for that Usage:Anirban — ‘‘Tennis is the priority.We might take up just one more deal over the five ads Sania has.’’ smft.

tarantism: Urge to be funky Usage: Alyque: ‘‘There’s a sassy attitude... there’s so much vibrancy, life in Sania... it’s unique.’’ It’s tarantism.

Uber-Micro:
Pro-game talk for skills Usage: Angad — ‘‘She, a girl, has shown that we, Indians, seen to be weak, are capable of power play.’’ Uber-Micro’s taken her there.

V8:
A kick-ass engine showing how inefficient earlier engines were Usage: Ayaan Ali Bangash (sarod artiste) — ‘‘With due respect to Leander and Mahesh, Sania’s taken tennis to another level. People in NY are talking about her.’’ V8 hai naa.

womyn:
Variation ‘woman’used to show how offensive the word ‘man’ can be Usage: Ayaan — ‘‘She’s an example for all.’’ (Words sourced from urbandictionary.com )

Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1223731.cms

New Orleans vs. Mumbai: Gets your mind thinking

We couldn’t stop making this comparison..

inches of rain in new orleans due to hurricane katrina… 18
inches of rain in mumbai (July 27th)…. 37.1

population of new orleans… 484,674
population of mumbai…. 12,622,500

deaths in new orleans within 48 hours of katrina…100
deaths in mumbai within 48hours of rain.. 37.

number of people to be evacuated in new orleans… entire city..wohh
number of people evacuated in mumbai…10,000

Cases of shooting and violence in new orleans…Countless
Cases of shooting and violence in mumbai.. NONE

Time taken for US army to reach new orleans… 48hours
Time taken for Indian army and navy to reach mumbai…12hours

status 48hours later…new orleans is still waiting for relief, army
and
electricty
status 48hours later..mumbai is back on its feet and is business is as
usual

USA…world’s most developed nation
India…third world country..

oopss…did i get the last fact wrong???

History of the Internet

Many young people around the world use the internet every day, and yet they have no memory of the history that led to the creation of the global network. Many have no understanding of how or why the internet has developed. As part of the continuing efforts to combat ignorance around the world, The Lemon: History of Internet site was made.

This site takes a look at the funny side of the history.

Enjoy the site @ The Lemon: History of Internet.